She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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