those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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