I didn't shave. On purpose
Buhtt sex?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
