If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
