my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
