Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
