The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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