as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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