so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
