Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
