and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Someone came in the potted fern
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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