Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
