i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
