All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
