take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
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Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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