trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
