And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
