Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
