She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
