hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
