BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
