whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
