she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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