Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Randomize
