Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
