Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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