He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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