She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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