He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
