I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize