she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
