so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
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How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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