1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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