That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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