goodnight i made you a song goodbye
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
