Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
