absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
