So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
