The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
