Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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