Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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