He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
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