im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
