you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
