If that was your dad, he is hot
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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