I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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