Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
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I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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