shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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