I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
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I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
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After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.