Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences