I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"