That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my being single is dangerous.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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