Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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