You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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