You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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