we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
