the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
