I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize