I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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