watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
