For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
