i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
